It's the IOU's, Stupid
By Tara Ross
Wow! I finally get it. The Democrats have finally gotten through to me with their message on Social Security. I feel so much better now that I have seen the light.
Listen, America, we should all just quit worrying about this so-called Social Security crisis. Republicans are getting unnecessarily hysterical when they worry about Social Security Trust Funds running out in 13 years. Didn’t you know that there is a sizable stack of IOU’s sitting in that fund? Everything is going to be okay.
Whew! What a relief.
I’m not sure who it was that first got through to me. Perhaps it was Democratic Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi when she argued that “Social Security will be able to pay full benefits until 2041 and even after that will be able to pay 74 percent of benefits. This finding flatly contradicts Republican efforts to manufacture a ‘crisis’ in Social Security.” Although I must admit that Ted Kennedy was also very convincing when he argued, “It’s not the ‘boomers’ causing the crisis in social security, it’s George Bush and the Republican Party.”
I never thought I’d say it, but Ted Kennedy is right. If we must resort to using IOUs in a few years, why would that cause a crisis? The IOUs sitting in that Trust Fund are practically as good as money.
I have to tell you, now that I understand this important economic principle, my life is going to get much easier. No more panic at high credit card bills or unexpected medical costs. I am just going to print myself a nice, big supply of IOUs and go my merry way.
Phone bill? No problem. One IOU made out to Southwestern Bell coming right up. Tax time? Well, I know for sure that Uncle Sam will understand the validity of presenting him with an IOU each April 15. He can just add it to the Trust Fund with the other IOUs. Gosh, I’m so glad to push off payment of those tax bills for a decade or two.
I really wish that I had understood the economics of IOUs sooner. Imagine how much less stressful my post-college years could have been. All that time I spent, paying off school loans while simultaneously trying to finance basic needs, such as rent and food. What a waste of time, money, and energy. I should have created myself a handy-dandy stack of IOUs much earlier.
Now that you, too, understand how easy our lives can be if we all rely on IOUs rather than money, I really must share an important tip with you. This last piece of information will help you to ward off those panic-stricken Republicans when they try to convince you that Social Security is facing bankruptcy in a few years.
Whatever you do, don’t call the funds in the Trust Fund IOUs. People mistakenly understand the phrase “IOU” to have a negative connotation. You’ll get much further if you call those IOUs by a less threatening term: Treasury bills.
Okay, sure, we both know that those T-bills in the Social Security Trust Fund really are IOUs. After all, if Uncle Sam owes Uncle Sam money, then all Uncle Sam has is paper money. He has no real assets. But why bother people with petty details like that? It will only cause them to worry unnecessarily.
The Democrats have come up with a gentler, kinder approach: Don’t worry. Be happy! Let Americans get comfortable with the basic economics of IOUs, as I have just described them. Most importantly, whatever we do, we really should not force people into some kind of active role in providing for their own retirement. There’s no reason for all us taxpayers to stress ourselves out over some kind of outdated notion of individual responsibility. Just relax. Let the government do it.
Big Brother is always looking out for you.
Tara Ross is a regular columnist for TAEmag.com and the author of Enlightened Democracy: The Case for the Electoral College.
